How to Cope With Grief During the Holidays

We all know the holidays represent a time of celebration and cheer, but this time of year can also intensify feelings associated with grief for people dealing with great change or loss in their lives. Even if you are feeling joyful during these holidays, you may be in the company of friends or family members who are struggling. A local mental health clinician is sharing her expertise to help you or those around you to understand and cope with grief during the holidays.

Neeru Kumar, MD, a board-certified psychiatrist with Washington Township Medical Foundation, will present, “Coping with Grief and Bereavement During the Holidays,” on Monday, Dec. 4 at 9 a.m. Watch this free, online seminar to learn about the different types of grief, how they may be intensified this time of year, and coping strategies to help yourself or others deal with it. It can be viewed at YouTube.com/whhsInHealth or Facebook.com/WashingtonHosp. You can tune in to watch the seminar debut at the above time and date, or beginning the following day at your convenience on the Hospital’s YouTube channel.

“Grief is not only present when mourning the death of someone in your life,” explained Dr. Kumar. “It can also come from a major life transition, the breakdown of a marriage or other relationship, the death of a beloved family pet, or when entering a new phase of life. People may also experience pre-loss grief when the passing of a loved one or a significant life event is imminent.”

During her presentation, Dr. Kumar will explain the complex stages of grief. It is important to know that recovery from grief does not always flow in one direction. Someone can start feeling better weeks or months after a loss or major change, only to revert to a place of sadness. Grief can be triggered by one’s normal routine being interrupted by gatherings, travel, and ceremonies that are common during the holiday season. This time of year can also intensify feelings of loneliness and isolation that are often present when mourning the loss of someone.

There are many strategies to cope with your grief during the holidays and seek support from others. Dr. Kumar will cover these and additional effective coping skills during the seminar:

• Acknowledge your feelings. Recognize when you have strong emotions like anger, fear, irritability and guilt. Work through them and do not judge yourself for how you feel.
• Create ways to honor your loved one. Write a letter to your lost loved one; hang up their stocking; share memories about them; make their favorite dish; or visit their gravesite.
• Plan ahead and set personal boundaries. Planning ahead and setting personal boundaries can help manage anxiety and protect you from emotional breakdown.
• Practice self-care and avoid overindulgence. Take good care of yourself by exercising, eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, and using moderation with sweets and alcohol.
• Set realistic expectations for yourself. Realize this year will be different from past ones. Choose carefully when and where you want to go and leave early if you need to.
• Surround yourself with support and ask for help. Spend time with people who care about you and don’t be afraid to get support when you need it.

It is important to remember everyone deals with traumatic events differently. Even though someone may look happy when celebrating with others at an event does not mean they are not depressed or anxious. “I tell my patients there is no right or wrong way to grieve and you are free to do it your own way,” added Dr. Kumar. “When you feel extreme sadness, it is OK to cry, because it is a testament of your love for the one you have lost. And when you are happy or enjoying yourself, do not feel guilty. All of these feelings are an important part of your recovery journey.”

Dr. Kumar recommends for those who are grieving to seek out a grief support group through a local church or hospital. If you feel hopeless or have lost the will to live, contact your doctor or ask a friend or family member for help immediately. For information on a free, weekly in-person grief support group at Washington Hospital, call 510.818.6569. To learn more about Dr. Kumar and her services, go to https://www.mywtmf.com/find-a-doctor/neeru-kumar-md.