Don’t Let Stress Steal Your Holidays

The holidays are touted as a season of joy and happiness—but is that really true for all individuals?

No, says Dr. Seema Sehgal, a psychiatrist at Washington Township Medical Foundation (WTMF) Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science. “The holidays are a high-stress period for many people, often caused by financial pressures, family issues, the loss of a loved one, or just the need to ‘keep up with the Jones’ in terms of socializing, gift giving, or even something as simple as sending out holiday cards.”

Some worry that they must give gifts to friends and family members—even if they can’t afford to do so. Others feel pressured to attend holiday parties when they’d rather stay at home or have a quiet dinner with close friends. “We fall into this trap of feeling we must have the ‘perfect’ holiday just like at other times of the year when we feel we must have the ‘perfect’ vacation or the ‘perfect’ dinner party,” Dr. Sehgal notes.

There are methods to navigate mental health during the holiday season. One of the things Dr. Sehgal recommends is taking time to think about what aspect of the holidays is the most stressful for you and, conversely, what do you like best about the holiday season. “Ask yourself: what do I really want to remember about this holiday season; what is the one activity that will bring me the most pleasure?”

Make a Plan

Dr. Sehgal suggests sitting down well in advance of the holidays to develop a plan on how to approach and manage the season. Encourage your family members to think about what it is they would most like to remember about this holiday season when, a month later, they look back on the holiday. “Such an exercise can help children understand that they can’t have it all during the holidays. We all have to make choices as to where to invest our time, energy and resources—this includes children,” she explains.

Consider putting yourself first in making your plan. Ask yourself, “What kind of holiday do I want?” Set reasonable and achievable goals.

Self-Care

Dr. Sehgal also reminds us of the importance of self-care. “Self-care is not a luxury. Exercising, getting quality sleep, eating right and meditating, are all examples of self-care that we need to practice on a regular basis—especially during the busy and high-stress holiday season.”

Self-care may be as simple as avoiding overindulgence in alcohol or foods that are high in fat or sugar. Self-care can also include practicing gratitude. When writing holiday cards, for example, express gratitude for support you have received over the past year. Write fewer, but more meaningful cards. And an unusual idea is to write yourself a card, capturing what challenges you have overcome and congratulating yourself on the growth and wisdom you have gained.

Relaxation activities including meditation or outdoor walks are simple forms of self-care. Dr. Sehgal describes nature as “the biggest stress absorber.”

Dealing with Grief or Loss

Remembering those we have lost—whether that year or not—can also be a difficult part of the holiday season. Many people feel that others who are joyfully celebrating cannot understand loss. It is important, however, to reshape the narrative, to be able to include happy memories to celebrate those who are no longer there.

Finally, Dr. Sehgal advises us to avoid the “Happiness Trap” and remember that no one is 100% happy, 100% of the time. During this holiday season, identify your needs and set your personal limits.

For more information on the WTMF Behavioral Health program visit https://www.mywtmf.com/services/psychiatry-behavioral-sciences/.